exploring mydeathspace.com

There is this website called http://www.mydeathspace.com/. It puts up notices of death of http://www.myspace.com/ members. I am also a member there. So, I've been exploring this page for several days already. I don't know how to name the feeling I get reading the death notes and then looking at their myspaces.

There is this girl - Amy, who was shot by her husband. Her space is open. Her myspace address is www.myspace.com/davidswifyamy . About herself she writes that she's 25, happy and loving his David. Her photos are also open. There is one photo of her 'baby holding a big gun'. Photos of their lovely house is also up there in a separate album. The contradiction between the death note and her myspace is so cynical.

There are others...

There is this girl, who killed her 2 year old son. The note said she had problems with her husband and since this very son was her husband's favorite, she pushed on him often. In her Myspace her mood is romantic and loving. She's now in jail, possibly for a lifetime.

Today I explored a third case. husband killed his ex wife. The wife's profile is closed. It just says 'Sarah in Heaven'. There is a little notice next to her picture saying 'you were born an original, don't die a copy'.

The husband writes about himself:
'What's there to say and where to begin. I live in Newark, have a 1 year old daughter who's the most beautiful thing in the entire world and every time I look in her eyes I see the second most beautiful thing in the world, her mother.' This was a year before he strangled her. And the photos are so intimate.

There are notices of suicide. These spaces are so private I feel I'm looking into somebody's death. Their virtual identity is still there and they either do not exist any more or are sentenced to years of jail because of murder.

I became attached to this strange space, which is disturbing and strange.